A Panda walks into a bar and orders a nice Steak dinner from the bistro. After eating his dinner, the panda whips out two machine guns and opens fire on all the patrons in the bar, killing everyone but the manager. Thinking his life over the manager asks the panda 'Why? Why did you do this panda?' The panda replies 'Look up panda in the encyclopedia' and then flees the scene of the crime. Later, a detective investigating the crime questions the manager. 'Did the panda say anything before he left?' 'He said look up panda in the encyclopedia' replid the manager. Dismissing this as either a lie on the manager's part or just a plain crazy panda the detective thinks nothing of it, but after weeks with no leads he decides to look up panda in the encyclopedia. The entry is as follows: 'Panda: Eats shoots and leaves.'

A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He's slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out. The guy who was sitting next to him couldn't believe that the guy had just done that. He was more surprised when, ten minutes later, the same guy, unscathed, comes walking back into the bar and sits back down next to him. The astonished guy asks "How did you do that? I just saw you jump out that window and we're hundreds of feet above the GROUND!". The jumper responds by slurring, "Well, I don't get it either. I slam a shot of tequila and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch." He takes a shot, slams it down, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls until right before the ground, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the guy walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He drinks it and goes to the window and jumps. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn't slow down at all...SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila and the bartender says to him, "You're really an asshole when you're drunk, Superman."

This is SOOO true. Rochelle AND Shirley (older sister) do this to me.

BigBrother HAHA, omg this is just so lame :P Anyone watch it last night? It's an adaptation of the english and american big brother programs I guess. 12 yobbos in a house for 3 months and everyone can see what thier doing etc etc. Today I listened in for a few minutes on thier site... they spoke of injecting bug spray into people and something about cockroaches and then some movie... I started to doze off after 5 mins. Is it gonna be like that... "House Of Hell" show that was on a while back? That was funny shite~! Make them eat prunes with baked beans? Can't remember :P hee, if this program keeps up the way it does it's just gonna SUCK!

Get PAID for sex! Move to Singapore!

COLD! Why can't it be cold here? I think maybe 'coz I want it to be, that's why it's not :/ Oh well, it rained tonight~! wohoo thunder that makes your walls shake, flashes of lightning, rain rain rain. Though, it's always gotta be at night. I think only 'coz I want it to be in the day aswell. Someone's against me... gr :( BTW, would you shut your kcufing win'ging 'nos? Thx.

Well I'm now back in Sydney, and I'm still as sick as a dog. And it's COLD! (Will I ever stop complaining?!)

One day the US army, FBI and NYPD all go out on exercises together. One exercise is to go out and hunt down a rabbit. So first up its the FBI, they go off and two hours later they hear a single shot. Ten minutes later the snipers return with a dead rabbit shot neatly between the eyes and pass the exercise. Then off go the Army, who opt for the blitzkrieg method of chopping, burning and shooting everything in sight. A day later they return with, albeit slightly charred, one dead rabbit and pass the exercise. Finally off go the men of NYPD several hours pass no shots or nothing are heard, then the sergeant in charge returns holding a squirrel! The instructor says "What the hell are you playing at man, that's a squirrel not a rabbit. You're supposed to shoot a rabbit!" to which the sergeant calmly replies "Just listen to the squirrel". So the instructor bends down close to the squirrel and to his surprise he hears it sobbing "I'm a rabbit... for the love of god I'm a rabbit... you gotta believe me im a rabbit..."

They cost me like 50 bucks, but they were just way too cool I had to have 'em :P Jipped? :( Oh, and the bank won't gimme a credit card! Damn them!! I want one... not that i'd use it o_o heheh... shot back 'coz I have no official income, shall I just lie...? hmm....

CONAN... ...the librarian.

Jack has a gigantic lump on his throat :(

Well, I'm here in the Philippines and I'm sick as a Dog. I miss my girlfriend too. Oh well, back in 7 days.

Better late than never... check this out for a quick smile on who else, none other than Damir Dokic himself... Story of Mir... I was gonna post the image, but it's a tad big...

I ACHED MA ENGRISH EXOM~ YEEAH~!

Dammit, blogger is refusing to post...hope this one works. Please read the Hopoate post to understand the following. finger lickin' good?

New words for the millineum: Hopoate: To insert one's finger into the anus of one's opponent.

Thought for the day: "If you drink, don't park - accidents cause people."

Oh btw~ That's my little cousin, Johnny on Nick-cam ^-^

Ok, there are so many things wrong with the world. This is one of them.

Hullo. long time no post. so just some linkage.... just an ... interesting article on the standard story plots u see floating around these days 36 Plots